What is it that makes people feel so much better about something once they find out someone else has experienced the same thing? If, after taking a test in school, I found out my friend also had a hard time, I didn't feel as badly about bombing it. If my friend and I were trying to eat healthy, and we both messed up by scarfing down a Cold Stone, for some reason it wasn't as bad since I had a partner in crime. I have found this to be true BEYOND WORDS when it comes to mommyhood. I honestly think I would have been much harder on myself over this past year had it not been for my friends and family who consistently told me that I wasn't alone. When I learned that my sister also had napping issues with her girls, I didn't feel like such a rotten mom. When I talked with fellow moms who had difficult breastfeeding experiences, I didn't feel like such a failure. Even today at MOPS, another gal told me that both of her kids did horribly in the nursery when they were babies. I immediately felt better about the fact that Cam has yet to remain in the nursery through a whole church service.
I think when you are a mom, you tend to have this unrealistic idea that every other mom has it so much more together than you. When Cam was younger and not sleeping through the night, I used to look at women in the store and think, "I bet she isn't tired and she gets 8 hours a night." It is like we innately have this problem of assuming we are the only ones struggling with sleep, cranky babies, feeling overwhelmed, feeling inadequate, etc. It is so refreshing to talk to another mom who has been in your shoes. This is one reason why I love MOPS. Spending time with other moms and talking about things we are going through is invaluable. Even if you don't click in most aspects of your personalities, moms can ALWAYS find something to talk about related to their kids!
I went over to my mom's house a couple days ago and we went to her friend's house. She has a trampoline in her backyard. As you can see, it was quite a highlight for Cam!!
4 comments:
Boy, that is so true! There's an old saying, "Misery loves company." Although that's not exactly what you're saying, it's close.
Yes, they also say, "Misery loves miserable company" - ha! That's what support groups thrive on......hence the word s-u-p-p-o-r-t. Nw they even say that if you associate with fat people, you'll get fat. So.......we will try not to visit as often - ha!
That is so true! And it's not because we take delight in others' hardships... it's that it encourages us to know that it might not just be "us" - that the problem might not necessarily be solely of our own doing. Maybe newborns just cry a lot. Maybe moms are just tired after endless night feeings. Maybe some toddlers just refuse vegetables. Maybe you're just normal...
There is something so disheartening about knowing that your problems are all your own doing. Sure, many times they are. But many times they aren't - they're just a tough part of life that we all face.
I hope the girls get to go on that trampoline too - that looks like fun!!!
That reminds me, I meant to tell you that Ezekiel was doing the same thing that Cam is doing by covering his ears when he gets tired. He would even bang on his head sometimes! I was a little worried, too, but he outgrew it and the dr. reassured me that kids do all kinds of wierd things when they are tired!
Yes, I love knowing that we are not alone in this crazy adventure!
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