So we have been dealing with something for a while, and it has gotten worse over the past few weeks. Many times children don't like it when their parents talk on the phone. I've heard this is due to the fact that their parent's attention isn't on them. I can understand this. Cameron has taken this to an extreme, it seems, and I hope I can accurately describe it because I would love some advice on how to handle it.
Many times, Cam will literally not let Chris or I talk to one another without fussing. We need only say one small sentence to one another (i.e. "What time do you think you'll get home?") and Cam immediately starts whining and won't stop until we stop. It isn't as though we are interacting with him and stop to talk to one another. He could just be eating his lunch when we are in the kitchen with him. It could be dead silent. But as soon as we begin to speak to one another, he starts.
I have to admit this gets REALLY frustrating for me. The other day my friend Ana was over, and I literally put him on 5-6 time outs and sent him to his room twice due to this. No, I wasn't expecting to be able to sit for extended periods of time with her and visit. I know that is not realistic with a toddler and expect a certain amount of interruptions. But I do expect to be able to ask her a simple question without him getting upset. And don't even get me started on the phone! I have given up talking on the phone at all when I am in the same room as him. "You should just do it and he'll get used to it", you might say. Honestly, that is impossible as he gets so loud I can't even hear what the person is saying.
Anyway, if you have had any experience with this, I would love some tips on how you handled it. Time outs don't appear to be working and neither does sending him to his room for a while. I wish I knew what caused it because again, he doesn't do it all the time. But because it has gotten more and more frequent, I need to do something! :)
8 comments:
Oh that's tough. I wish I had some advice but I'd feel silly giving any as we haven't quite reached that phase yet. I hope you can figure out something that works :)
Hi Kelly. I check your blog from time to time, and I feel your pain. I don't have any good suggestions, but just encourage you to hang in there. It will get better. Remember, he's just gone through some major life adjustments, and certainly isn't able to get the attention he's had for the past three years of his life,... but, he will get used to it.
Gosh that is so hard!! I don't know what I'd do. But I think you're right that its inacceptable. I'm wondering about the level of whining? Of course its terribly annoying to you & Chris, but what happens if you ignore Cam? it just gets louder and louder? Do you get a sense for why he is whining? We know what causes it, but do you know why? Is he jealous? Is it the volume? Does he want quiet? Does he want attention?
I have one child who frequently step ins and competes for Daddy's attention. Often if hubby and I are snuggling/chatting, he will swat at me, try to climb into Daddy's lap, or stand at Daddy's feet whimpering. He just doesn't want to share Daddy. Maybe this could be another thought?? Cam doesn't want to share you?
In our home we had an assigned whining room. It was actually the laundry room. But I would escort a kid there: "feel free to whine all you want in here. and when you are all done whining, you may come out." And, I would even use it sometimes!! HA!! I would tell them mommy needed to whine and complain so I was going into the whining room for a few minutes!! :)
I LOVE the Whining Room idea.
I have not had this problem, but what if he had a real looking play phone (maybe one of your old cell phones) that he could talk on only while you are talking on the phone. And maybe try to make him think you're talking to him and playing with him??? I hope something works for you.
My kids have to go to their room for whining.....so i love the whining room idea. Also we have tried whiny juice (which our friends use religiously and swear by it)....which is putting a dab on their tongue- anything they hate tasting (lemon juice, cranberry, mint... much more mellow and appropriate than the old washing your mouth out for using foul language)
Interrupting is something we all need to learn not to do at any age. Don't think Cam is too young too understand. I think it's a teachable moment for you to tell Cameron that Daddy and you are talking and he needs to learn to say excuse me.
If he wants to whine and cry in order to get attention you and Chris (easier said then done) need to do your best to ignore him so he isn't rewarded with unacceptable behavior.
If you and Chris need to talk in depth about something then try to explain to Cam that you need to talk to Daddy and you expect him to entertain himself for 10 min.
If time outs and the traditional ways are not working maybe giving him a play phone and having him make his calls while you do yours. Also if you can catch him doing something he feels is important and inturrept him and let him know thats what its like when you talk on the phone. Also at one point with Breven butting in and whining I would talk on the phone in another room and close him out. Sounds mean but they get the idea after the first week of doing it. I did the play phone first and that worked for 6 months then I had to do the other.
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