Right now Chris and I (and kids) are in Port Hueneme at Chris's aunt's condo. She is away and offered her place to us for a few days. You can hear the ocean from her balcony and she is close to Santa Barbara, where we'll head after Cam's nap. It is nice to be in a different place, do different things, and just have a change of routine. Last night her friend, Deb, came over for dinner and we had a great time!
On the down side, Cam has made our trip not so fun. Right now he is down for his nap and to be honest, it is a relief. He has been in the most sour mood and has whined at everything. The things he fusses over don't seem to make much sense, which is hard and we have NOT found a form of discipline that has worked (I guess we haven't tried spanking...but I'm not quite sure I want to go down that road for this). Chris and I both have our theories on it. My theory is that it somehow stems from Kendall being around. When I'm one on one with him, he is awesome. He's getting all of the attention. But when Kendall is around, no matter how much I try to still involve him, he can be soooo difficult (not all the time, but a lot). Hopefully an afternoon in Santa Barbara will be a nice distraction for him and he'll be his happy self, especially since we are braving dinner at our favorite restaurant, Palazzios. Yum.
On a sidenote, as I'm sitting blogging, I'm listening to a dad across the way talk to his kids. He talks to them in the most unloving, rough manner and it breaks my heart. He just yelled at them to shut up. Interesting how hearing this makes me love my own kids even more. I'm not sure why. Maybe my heart hurts so much for these random children that it makes me so thankful that even though Cam can frustrate me to no end sometimes, I could NEVER get to the point this dad is at. It makes me sick to even think about treating my kids that way.
Ok, enough rambling. I guess I wanted to share this because many times when I read people's blogs, I feel down because it seems like they never struggle and every trip is filled with easy going, happy kids who are up for anything. I don't want to be a Debbie Downer (anyone see that SNL skit?) all the time, but I also want to paint an accurate picture of our lives (not that their blogs aren't accurate, I just know I it sometimes helps to read about other's struggles to know I'm not alone). I'll post some pictures when we get back. He may be Mr. Whiny Pants, but he still takes cute pictures!
10 comments:
I was just having a conversation with a friend yesterday about how 99% of the time people say "fine" when asked how they're doing. Part of friendship is being vulnerable...and the other part is being about to care for the vulnerable! I hope your little Mr. Whiney Pants mellows out and that you have a terrific rest of your trip!!! Take care!
To be honest Breven's days were bad espically when we were on trips I just try to move on. Its hard to discipline a child who dosn't live or oporate on the same level as everyone else. Its a slippery slope with spanking and sometimes it dosn't even effect them. Its all patience and one on one time is usually when they are best and sometimes therapy doesnt help that because they are always one on one.
Hopefully you enjoy the rest of your trip!
Traveling with kids is HARD, especially when they make things difficult.
I totally know what you mean about blogging... I always want to be honest and share my "real" life, but not be too much of a "Debbie Downer" (love SNL). It always helps me to read "real" life, otherwise you do tend to think you are the only one who struggles.
I just got finished giving Ethan his second time out in a row because every day when he wakes up from his nap he is VERY difficult. He throws a monster fit and is just awful to me. Aren't kids supposed to wake up from a nap happy?
On an unrelated note I am making that pasta tonight, I can't wait to try it!
oh and I hope things turn around for Cam and you enjoy the rest of your trip :)
Palazio's?!!! YUM!!!!!!!!!!
Isn't it interesting to be sitting listening to God's amazing creation-the ocean out of balcony-and yet it can be so easily disrupted by a unloving parent! I often squeeze Baylee tighter, hug her longer, speak more softly to her when I hear parents speaking SO RUDELY to their kids! Especailly the words 'shut up' oh it breaks my heart!
What is this fav restaurant you speak of?
I love reading that you guys are still traveling about and living life-with 2 kids! Makes me feel like 'we can do it!' No kid is perfect! But neither are we in our parenting! God's grace has to fill in the gaps! You never sound like a debbie downer! I love reading the 'truth' about your life! It reassures me that we all are in the same boat!
We miss you guys! :)
Hi Kelly,
I just wanted to say "hi". Thanks for sharing your heart through your blog - I always feel like I know you a little bit better after reading it. I hope that the day turned around for you guys. I know how hard it is to deal with a whiny little guy! Sometimes I feel that Hannah gets a little short-changed as I have to devote so much attention to Daniel, but then I remember that I hold her, tickle her, and cuddle her a lot too. :) It's just that at the older age they need so much more from us. Hang in there, and I hope that you enjoy the rest of your trip.
Oh, and are we still on for this weekend? We're looking forward to it.
Bonnie
Dear Mr. Whiny Pants,
Okay...enough is enough. This whining & fussing is not getting you anywhere--have you noticed? All it's doing is making your sweet mama & daddy feel not so sweet.
Yeah, I know, I know, you wanna be Mr. Center-of-the-Universe. Well, let me tell ya, it ain't gonna happen. You & the rest of your 2-year-old compadres might as well give it up! So just turn off the whiny switch & turn back into your usual Mr. Sunshine self...you know, the guy who grins & chatters & runs around. He's been gone for two whole days! We miss him! Bring him baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!
I love it when my friends are vulnerable on their blog, because you're right, most of the time we post the happy, success stories rather than the challenges.
I guess my advice about Cam would be "hold the line." He is obviously testing right now, and if you give into the whining it will reinforce that if he whines long enough and loud enough you'll let him have his druthers just for peace & quiet. which, i don't blame you at ALL for wanting. But hang in there, keep at it! Just because it doesn't work the first time doesn't mean it isn't working. Pick a strategy and try it for a few weeks. Decide with Chris exactly what you are going to do and make sure you both commit to doing it.
As you know we have a very strong willed 3rd child who has had major tantrums/protests and the biggest thing for us was having an outsider (my dad) make observations and then we changed our strategy--i wonder if your mom or someone else watching would help you have other perspectives/ideas? Cause in the thick of it we were just clueless about what to do.
Also, it will pass!! Just like the newborn fussies, the preschool whining DOES pass!! HOLD THE LINE!!
It's so hard when your kids are given everything possible and still are unsatisfied.
I encourage you to pray that he would be content and grateful for his life!
I can't stand whining!!!!!!!! ugh! It's like nails on a chalkboard to me and I tell me kids that I can't understand whining. Like your other friend said, Hold your line!
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