Thursday, October 3, 2013

kick in the gut

The other night Cam was getting ready for bed and, getting emotional, says, "Mom, do you remember when you were younger and you used to be nice? Can you be like that again?" Ouch. Let me say that again....ouch.

I had been rather firm with him prior to that for various small things I now cannot even recall. On one hand, I needed to remember that Cam is EXTREMELY sensitive to tones of voice and facial expressions of frustration. A jump in just an octave of my normal voice when I'm correcting him sends him into, "I'm sorry mom! Mom, I'm so sorry!" The same tone with any other kid (including Kendall) is sometimes not even enough to cause them to obey. :)

However on the other hand, I need to parent Cameron the best I can FOR HIM. So I sat back and realized that I needed to tone down my tone of voice. When he is an adult, I want him to think back on his mommy as happy, cheerful, and GENTLE in the way I mommy him. I want him to feel safe in this house, not tense, not unhappy. Just loved.

So while it broke my heart to hear him say that, I'm so glad he did (and I told him so). It's good to have a mommy check now and then. :)

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