One of the many things I've learned from listening to Dr. Laura is that it's the wives/moms who set the tone of the house. If we are naggy, complaining, negative, etc., we bring our entire household down.
People have often asked me, "How do you do it with both you and Chris home all day together? Don't you go crazy?" Fortunately not only do I not go crazy, but I love it and wouldn't have it any other way. However it does bring a few difficulties.
We, as moms, can go through 10 different moods in one day. I'm sure I'm not the only one who has returned from an outing gone wrong with the kids. We are exhausted, frustrated, and many times full of tears. Typically when this happens, by the time the husband returns home from a day at the office, hopefully the wife will have calmed down and be able to be cheerful and welcoming.
Sometimes it is difficult for Chris because he sees EVERY single emotion I go through. Sometimes I have cried after a frustrating outing (like today after a very difficult walk to the store with the kids). This can be hard for Chris because he is also brought down, simply by seeing me sad. However within 30 minutes, I'm back to normal and having a great time again. I try to explain to him that I can go through so many different emotions during the day, and to not take them too seriously. But that is much easier said that done.
So I try hard to remain positive throughout the day. I don't want to stuff my feelings if I'm overwhelmed. And he also doesn't want me to not be able to share when I'm having a hard day. But I also don't want to send him on a roller coaster every day with my ups and downs...a roller coaster he wouldn't experience if he worked outside the house.
So that is the main difficulty with him working from home (besides the obvious distracting noise which comes with kids). While I often fail, I try to keep an upbeat tone around the house because it really can turn into a vicious cycle of me getting sad, which makes him sad, which makes me frustrated that I made him sad...
5 comments:
You're so good about thinking these things through so well! And I think you're so right about us really setting the tone for the home!! Good reminder.
I had pictured him as being shut up in his office downstairs, but does he leave the door open or come greet you every time you come in or how does he always witness your emotions?
Typically he'll come out to the garage and help me unload the kids, or come out to the living room to check in and see how our outing was. He's never in his office for hours on end without coming out to see how things are going.
You're as wise in this area as you are in others, Kelly. Even just recognizing that you're going to feel better in a few minutes is a good beginning for "setting the tone."
I definitely can relate to going through many different moods throughout the day! When I see my husband is calling I try to, without being fake with him, greet him with sweet words so that he is excited to come home and not dreading it. My husband is very even tempered, so if he saw how many shades of my moods I think he'd have a hard time too. I appreciate your sensitivity to your husband. :-)
That is so very true and good to remember. Sometimes I'm really glad that Matt isn't around to witness some of my embarrassing "tones" :)
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