One of the things Dr. Laura talks a lot about is the importance of the polarity between a husband and a wife when it comes to raising children. One of the differences she highlights is the fact that women tend to be so much more emotional when it comes to their kids experiencing fear/discomfort. We want to shield them from anything negative, even if we know deep down that the experience is for the best. Men can see the bigger picture...that some discomfort is necessary. It's easier for them to not let emotion cloud the situation.
On Saturday Cam had his first group swim lesson with a new teacher. I'm so glad I was wearing sunglasses because I was tearing up the majority of the time. While she was nice, she wasn't super warm and I could tell she got frustrated a few times with him. She was challenging him more than his other teachers, which I think was good because he needs to make more progress. However my poor little guy was scared most of the time. When he would flounder in the water, stare at me with tears in his eyes, or I would hear his little voice, say, "Ok, I'll try...", I about lost it. I had this inward battle of, "Am I being too protective? Is this good for him? Do I need to accept that not every teacher is going to be warm and gushy?" It was such a hard place for me.
So we've decided Chris will be the one to take him from now on. He'll be stronger, but he'll also be able to decipher whether or not the teacher really is being too hard on Cam, or if I was just too emotional about the whole thing. Secretly I'm hoping Chris will not like what is happening and we can discontinue swim...but I know that is my emotional side talking, not my objective side. :)
2 comments:
That would be very very hard for me too! =( I do think it's much easier for men. That's one of the reasons I was glad that Chris went to soccer practice with Savannah rather than me. I got too worried about all those big boys hogging the ball and not letting her in. =)
Its emotions.
I had a very wise occupation therapist tell me one day that if she didn't challange him and make him un comfortable that I would never let any one do it again. And that I had to learn to let go so he was not one of those babied aspergers kids who have no skills.
She pushed him so hard to use his fork right and hold it right he was mad and frustrated and almost dropping his food all over and he was almost in tears and I tried to to stop the session and she told me that. I thought to myself that maybe she is right that I need to back down and let him struggle and be challanged and be emotional to learn a skill that he had to learn like it or not.
Its a hard thing to do to let go and let him be pushed sometimes it feels like coaches or therapists are being too harsh when in reality its our own emotions making them seem that way.
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